whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
