i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
