ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
