I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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