booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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