I want to stick my p in your. b.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
