Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
