I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
