You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
