Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
