he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
