No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
