Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
