I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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