Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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