So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish you could order shots online.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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