We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
