Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
