How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you win again, gameday.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This is my gift to your gina
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
