im six kinds of drunk right now
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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