If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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