U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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