forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize