is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
