Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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