I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
