i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
