I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
