I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
