I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize