Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
