she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
