He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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