Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
