i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
