im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
