You work out of a Hotel?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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