That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
