belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
then he tried to convert me to islam
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
