Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
