Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
