why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
