If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she smelled like a LAN party
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
