Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize