I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
