Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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