It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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