If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
