$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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