whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize