Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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