My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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