Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize