Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
