Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
do nipples grow back?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
