OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
