I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
