i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
