i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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