ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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