you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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