Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
