Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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