He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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