well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
