I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize