She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
