I want to stick my p in your. b.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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