Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
