then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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